Tragedy in the gaming community
Another week is ending and that means #CurrentEventFriday on the blog. With that in mind, we’re looking at a tragic end to a young girl at the hands of a wholly misguided young man. So buckle up, because today’s topic is not for the faint of heart.
Bianca Devins was a 17-year-old girl from Upstate New York who had achieved a modest amount of fame on Instagram, Reddit, and gaming sites for her abilities with video gaming. Along with this popularity, Devins attracted male fans who were also attracted to Devins’s looks. One such fan believed that his relationship with Devins was more than casual fandom through social media and assigned romantic thoughts to himself and Devins.
Unfortunately for Devins, who met up with this 21-year-old male fan things took a shocking and violent turn. As the pair attended a concert last weekend, an argument ensured about whether the two were an item. Devins did not believe that she was in a romantic relationship with the fan, and that’s when he killed her. As if that was not horrible enough, the fan posted videos and photos on his Instagram and the gaming site Discord tagging Devins’s profile in the media. These graphic images included Devins’s corpse that the fanboy killer had tried to decapitate. As Devins’s body was found Sunday morning in a local park, the fanboy was arrested for her murder.
Admittedly, this is a hard entry to write for the sheer gruesome act being discussed, but also because I’m choosing to omit the fanboy killer’s name because he doesn’t deserve the fame or satisfaction of it being repeated. Several news outlets have not followed that guideline and the killer is getting his infamy and attention he wanted.
The whole episode calls into question what role social media plays with tragedies like this one. Many have objected that Instagram allowed the images posted by the killer to remain on the site before being taken down or obscured and that they should’ve been rejected outright. Other depraved individuals obtained screenshots from Discord and Instagram before the images were removed and began to solicit attention by offering to release them to other depraved individuals.
On a more human level with social media, a discussion is being fostered by female memeebrs of the gaming community and influencers on social media cites about Involuntary Celibates or Incels. The killer has been accused of being part of the incel community. Typically incels are insecure about their appearance and the prospect of dating desirable women. Incels attack women for friendzoning them and dating the more stereotypical attractive men, or ‘Chad’ as these incels term them.
I will freely admit that I probably drift dangerously close to the incel mentality and dislike being friendzoned, but usually this leads to my overthinking and depression rather than violent and hateful speech and actions. More social media savvy women have pointed out that the incel outrage is largely overwrought. Being nice to a woman does not necessarily translate to her choosing to date the man or engage in sex with him. Basically, being kind and decent shouldn’t be a prerequisite for more from a woman, it should be a standard for being a human being with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a smile or a thank you. Realizing all this, it’s best for guys to some degree be more transparent with their feelings with women early on if there’s an interest in the woman for more than friendship, so that clear boundaries are known before anyone gets hurt.
Added to this, guys should pay attention to women’s clear intentions when asked about their boundaries they are setting. If a woman indicates that she wants to remain friends respect that request. Devins and her killer had exchanged text messages that indicated that Devins was not interested in her killer and he clearly ignored the indications and acted according to his own thoughts regardless of the reality that was being communicated.
I get it, I have either gotten the direct rejection when I ask a girl if she’s interested, I’ve gotten the direct rejection of the block without the direct asking, and the indirect ignoring without my direct asking. What’s common in all of those rejecetions, I accepted the response and moved on. I didn’t try to persist, well I didn’t try to persist as much and moved on. I didn’t try to find the girl, arrange an in person meeting, attack, and then kill her. Of course that probably has to do with that I’m for all intents and purposes ‘normal’ or at least what passes for normal these days.
It’s also worth mentioning, unless you know someone in real life and not just on social media don’t meet up with them alone. Always bring along friends if you’re determined that you want to meet in person. If there’s not bad vibes when you meet up, then you can go from there. People are not 100% on the Internet who they are in real life. I’m much more snarky on social media than in real life. Social media, especially Twitter and Instagram are theatre and the people on those sites are actors whether they have the SAG card or not.
If you don’t believe my last point, here’s Brad Paisley to sing that point:
Is incel culture to blame or was the killer just a terrible person regardless?